There are so many things that I would like to do, but the problem is finding someone to do them with. Many times, I would wish I had a sister around the same age as me with the same interests and schedule as me. Oh the things we could do, the places we could see. It would be so much easier to plan things. I should probably point out that I’m still grateful for my brother just in case he comes across this post (lol). Anyways, whenever I come across something interesting, I immediately ask my friends to see who’s interested. Unfortunately, there are times where it doesn’t work out for various reasons including, dietary restrictions, different schedules, financial differences, or they just don’t simply have an interest. Lately, it’s becoming a common occurrence, which is understandable, but frustrating. Since I don’t have a boyfriend who I can drag along to places where he doesn’t want to go (that’s how it works right?… Surely those guys you see in the audience of The View or The Real aren’t there by choice), I realize I must start getting used to the idea of being comfortable doing the things alone.
Initially, my issue with doing things alone was that I’d be called a loser, or people would think I’m a loser/loner when they see me alone. Then I saw people who I think are cool, doing things alone, such as going to the theater alone, and realized it wasn’t the end of the world. I still thought they were cool to be able to watch a movie alone, make fun of themselves, and come out having a good time. Besides, I don’t like being bothered with questions in the middle of watching a movie anyways, so going alone to watch a movie wouldn’t be so bad. Last year, I decided after a failed attempt at planning to watch the movie with friends, to watch Snowden alone. I got myself a ticket on a Monday for the earliest show in order to avoid a crowded theater. Surprisingly, the theater was half full by the time I got there, but I found good seats near the front half of the top section. As I looked around me, I noticed there were so many people watching the movie alone! That made me feel more comfortable because I was not alone in being alone! ha. The movie finished, I walked out, and thought wow, now that wasn’t so bad, was it. It actually felt pretty good because I conquered my fear of watching a movie alone, and had a good time while doing so. When I got back home that day, my brother didn’t miss his opportunity to call me a loser though *rolls eyes* whatever lol. I haven’t watched a movie alone yet since then, but if I had to, I’d do it in a heart beat.
When I was in uni, one of my friends told me how she once ate alone at a restaurant and I was so surprised back then – still am. I can eat alone at a food court in a mall while scrolling through my phone, but at a dine in restaurant? No way! I’d rather get take out and eat while sitting on a bench outside the restaurant… while scrolling through my phone (hehe). I haven’t reached that level of being comfortable alone just yet. Nowadays, when I see people doing things alone, I think, good for them. They are not letting a lack of companionship keeping them from doing what they want to do. Or they just prefer do things alone rather than with people. Either way, good for them.
There was a couple of plans that I had made late last year / early this year. One was to go to a Coldplay concert in August, and the other was travel plans for September (I’ve been having a travel itch that’s just dying to be scratched). The friend(s) that I made plans with for these two outings flopped recently. I was really bummed out and went through the feelings again of why don’t I have a sister that I could do whatever, whenever with. I’ll see if there is anyone else that’s interested, but I’ve accepted the fact that there’s a possibility I may not be going to the concert. However, I 100% do not want to skip on the travel plans. At first I was thinking about who else may be interested, and even considered asking my brother. I actually don’t mind going with my brother considering we have similar interests and even had a successful Peru trip together last year, but I’m sure he’d rather do something with his friends this year. Besides, it’s probably not cool to travel with your sister all the time *rolls eyes*.
After some thought, I realized, what if I just travel alone? I’ve always wanted to, but was scared for safety reasons. Also, my sense of direction is so bad. If it weren’t for Google Maps (and cell phones), I wouldn’t be surprised if I was lost somewhere on the west end of Canada right now searching for Toronto (OK I’m exaggerating, I’m not that bad… I think). I’ve had a couple of people tell me that travelling alone is an experience in itself – and now this is my chance to see what they meant. It’s going to take a lot of careful planning, but I’m actually excited about it and rather go alone now. This way, I only have to worry about myself and not have to consider others’ interests when it comes to the planning. However, there’s a road block. My parents don’t want me to go alone because they are worried about my safety – understandable. But I plan to make a compelling case and hopefully will get my way. We shall see what happens I guess, but I think I’m ready to learn to be comfortable alone whilst travelling!
** Featured image is by @halno on Instagram **